How to become a meta-star in 2015 in ten easy steps
First of all, if you despise Kim Kardashian and all that she stands for and have no appreciation for her business model, I’m telling you right up front you’re not going to appreciate this article. Also, if you don’t like it when people look at you, point their fingers and laugh — you might want to move on. And if you get upset when people say mean things about you, or if you’ve ever been the victim of a cyberstalker — or an actual stalker. This article is not for you. Shoo.
This article is for the class clowns. For the people who look at Kim Kardashian and think to themselves, “I could do that!” It’s for everyone who’s too late to the game to become a YouTube millionaire — but who sees the potential with the metaverse to become an even bigger sensation.
You know who you are. You’re outgoing. Fearless. You would totally go on Jimmy Kimmel and read the awful things that people say about you on Twitter.
Every new platform gives rise to a new crop of celebrities. You could be the next hypergrid celebrity. A star of the metaverse. A meta-star. Why not? Somebody will! And as the metaverse grows, you could surf that growth right to the top, PewDiePie-style.
Step One: Lose the guilt and the self-doubts
There is nothing wrong with entertaining people! If your antics, virtual exploits, sex tapes or whatever are amusing or diverting then right there you are performing a service for humanity. There’s enough stuff out there to bring us down. We can all use a break.
Plus, people like to follow celebrities. They like to go where celebrities go. Play games endorsed by celebrities. Eat at their restaurants. And, quite possibly, follow them to OpenSim.
So you’d be doing a good thing for OpenSim.
Then, celebrities inspire people to spend money. Your followers could be buying your stuff, or the stuff that you endorse, or stuff that you’re simply adjacent to. That creates jobs and business opportunities for everyone around you.
Plus, not to be self-serving or anything, you’d give bloggers something to write about.
Step Two: Stop worrying about not having a talent
Sure, some YouTube celebrities can sing, or act, or put on makeup. But if you go out there, and look at some of the most popular — and profitable! — video channels, you’re bound to find that you’ve got at least as much to offer than those people. Those weird, quirky, unattractive people who somehow managed to click with their audiences.
And don’t worry about it taking a few tries. Not all celebrities hit it right out of the park their first time out.
Step Three: Start with something you like to do
Do you like to talk about yourself? Try on clothes? Have fights with your boyfriend? Go shopping? No matter how ridiculous, there are YouTube celebrities who’ve become famous doing those things. Not to mention regular old traditional celebrities.
Or you could do something that does involve talent, like performing, or building, or scripting, or writing, or designing virtual fashions.
It really helps if you really enjoy doing whatever it is you’re planning on doing, so that you get something out of it even if you don’t get famous.
Hopefully, you’ll have a list of things you like to do, so that you can experiment. People might enjoy watching you try on new shoes you buy on Kitely Market, but they might not enjoy watching you try on hair. Or vice versa. Who knows? People are crazy. There’s no telling what they’ll go for.
Step Four: Come up with a clever name
It could be your own name. Kim Kardashian does fine as “Kim Kardashian.” Michelle Phan does fine as “Michelle Phan.” but Felix Arvid Ulf Kjellberg does even better as “PewDiePie.”
Your celebrity name could be your real name, your avatar name, or anything else you want.
Step Five: Get in front of people
Go ahead, leak that sex tape. Not your style? Try something else.
If you have an actual skill, like playing a musical instrument, singing, building, or designing, look for opportunities to do your thing in front of the biggest audience possible. Don’t worry about monetization at the start — you can think about that once you become a celebrity.
If your thing is less amenable to public performances — like buying shoes then showing off your purchases — then you’ll have to get in front of people another way. Fortunately, the options are pretty much limitless. Pinterest, Tumbler, Twitter, YouTube, blogs, podcasts — just pick a medium you’re comfortable in.
Step Six: Be bigger than life
You don’t actually have to be yourself to be a celebrity. Stephen Colbert isn’t Stephen Colbert the right-wing blowhard when he’s at home.
But it helps if the public persona you develop is one that you’re at least comfortable with.
And ramp it up a notch. One thing you’ll notice about celebrities is that they seem a little bit larger than life — at least, when they’re “on.” They’re louder, they’re funnier, they’re flashier, they’re scarier, they’re something. Something more than ordinary people.
Just like being a class clown, you have to do something to stand out.
So if you’re trying on shoes, really try the hell out of those shoes.
Or go to the other extreme, and try on the shoes in a super calm gentle way.
In fact, you’re better off if the majority of people actively hate what you do, than if they’re bored by it.
Look at it this way: say 99 percent of people who see your stuff hate it, and 1 percent love it — and all 100 percent care enough to tell people about it. Word about you will spread quickly. And even 1 percent of the population is still a very big fan base — as long as enough people hear about you. But if 99 percent of the people who see you are just bored by you, and forget you immediately, then those 1 percent who would love you will probably never get to hear about you at all.
So feel free to hate on Kim Kardashian. Every time you complain about her, you help spread her fame just a little bit further. She’s taking your disdain straight to the bank.
Most of us strive hard to lead lives as boring as possible. We pay our bills on time, we don’t speed, we keep an eye on our credit ratings. I’d rather not get shot, or blown up, or infected with a deadly disease, or slapped in the face by my arch-nemesis. But when I look for entertainment, I look for drama, for explosions, for monsters, for hilarious shenanigans. I want to see tables turned over and drinks thrown in people’s faces.
Step Seven: Use social media
Twitter and Facebook are your friends, but, Google Plus is more than a friend. It’s … a friend with benefits?
Google dropped their real name policy last summer, and OpenSim users have fled to the platform. Bookmark OpenSim Virtual, Hypergrid Destinations, The Adult Metaverse, and any other Google Plus community that’s related to what you do.
Step Eight: Use the media media
Send press releases and announcements to Hypergrid Business, Corran Journal, Daniel Voyager, Virtual Outworlding, The Hyperzette, and Virtual World Monitor. Send hypergrid destinations and event announcements to Hyperica, as well.
The great thing about media, is that they have space, or air time, that they have to fill. By helping them fill it on a regular basis, you’ll become their best friend. That doesn’t mean they’ll only write nice things about you – in fact, they might write exclusively bad things about you.
As long as they’re talking about you, that’s all that matters.
Yes, it’s hard. But keep reminding yourself that people like to make fun of and criticize the rich and successful. And the more powerful and successful you get, the more folks will pick on you. Just think of the criticism that Barack Obama is getting.
There just isn’t as much satisfaction in picking on a poor person. “Ha hah! You got cancer and the medical bills made you lose your house! And now you lost your job and your spouse and are living in a car! Sucks to be you! Oh, look, the cancer’s coming back! Priceless! And your car got towed to the in-pound lot! I can’t stop laughing!”
Step Nine: Network, network, network
Like they always say, it’s all about who you know. So go out there and get to know them. Respond to people in social media and article comments, interact with your audience in-world, get to know your competitors, the other celebrities, shmooze it up.
Cooperate on projects. Share the stage. Help others, and let others help you.
It might be your cameo in someone else’s video that helps you break through. Or a public “feud” with another celebrity. Just remember to save the slaps and the hair pulling for when the cameras are rolling!
Step Ten: Give back
Use your celebrity — no matter how little or how much of it you might have — to help others. Support worthwhile causes. Promote creators. Let your followers know about other performers.
Influence is like a muscle. Use it to grow it.